Are you the master of your destiny or do you feel at the mercy of people, events and circumstances?
When we believe that our happiness and peace of mind is dependent on what another person does or does not do, or whether or not an event or experience goes our way, we will always be in conflict.
Shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis once said “We must free ourselves of the hope the sea will ever rest, we must learn to sail in high winds”.
In this blog I will:
- share with you how our thoughts affect our biology
- introduce you to the concept of Attitudinal Healing
- and show you how changing the way you think can change your experience of life
Many of you will have heard the saying “You are What You Eat” and will have your own idea of what that means. Have you ever considered “You Are What You Think”?
Have your thoughts stopped you performing at your best; prevented you from taking up an opportunity which you now regret: or stopped you moving forward in life?
In his book The Biology of Belief, cell biologist, Bruce Lipton introduces us to the new science of Epigenetics, which reveals that the activity of our genes is constantly being modified in response to life’s experiences. We are each made up of fifty trillion single cells so our perceptions of life can shape our biology. “ I think therefore I am”.
Self-limiting beliefs are false and inherited from family members, teachers or based on a past experience. The good news is that at any given moment we can retrain our minds to let go of the beliefs and perceptions that keep us in a state of fear and hold us back. Our natural state is one of harmony, creativity and happiness. Health is inner peace and healing is letting go.
Attitudinal healing is based on the belief that it is not people or circumstances that cause us to be upset, but that we create the disharmony and unhappiness we experience, because of the attitudes we hold in our minds. The separation we experience comes from projecting these attitudes on to people and events outside ourselves. Instead of seeing ourselves as victims we can choose to accept that we are responsible for our thoughts, attitudes and the feelings we experience.
For this to happen we need to:
- be willing to see things another way
- to have peace of mind as our only goal
- possess the willingness to forgive.
“Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins,” is an old American Indian saying. When others are acting angry, resentful, judgmental, or seem to be attacking us, we always have a choice to see them at that moment as they appear on the surface or as fearful, giving a call for love.
When we choose not to respond in kind we can choose to respond with love and compassion. We begin to heal the sense of separation when we ask ourselves “Is this communication for joining or separation? Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?
Learning how my beliefs, thoughts and attitudes shape my reality is revolutionizing my life. It has helped me navigate a separation and divorce with compassion and dignity. I am learning to see people, circumstances and situations as they are, not based on past experience.
When I look at life differently I am calmer, more creative and happy. Life is a journey and I still have a lot to learn. I would like to share an example.
On Friday 6, November 2015, I was due to appear on That’s Oxford TV. I felt a mixture of fear and excitement. I would be travelling in rush hour traffic so thought it wise to set off early. Coming down the stairs shortly before leaving, my foot slipped and I found myself falling forward. My first thought was “Oh no, not now”. My survival instinct kicked in swiftly. I grabbed the bannister and righted myself. The remaining contents of the mug of the tea I was holding now decorated the wall and stairs but had largely missed me!
In the past I would have sworn, lost my rag and panicked about the time lost. Not this time – I was OK – shaken but no lasting damage. Shall I clean up the mess now or deal with it later? As you all know tea stains, so I cleaned up and as I did so thought “this has happened for a reason”.
I set off 15 minutes later than planned. As I reached the other side of Oxford. I came across slow moving traffic. An ambulance, blue lights flashing, sped towards me, then two police cars and a second ambulance came up from behind. Clearly there had been an accident, I accepted the situation, my thoughts with those involved.
When circumstances don’t go according to plan there is usually a very good reason – it is only in retrospect that we can connect the dots. Was my departure delayed to prevent me from being involved in an accident? Who knows?
I reached my destination with 10 minutes to spare, arriving calm, composed and grateful that I was safe. To watch my interview click here.
- our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes shape our life experience
- affect our biology
- and ultimately our health and happiness.
Change Your Mind and you too can Change Your Life
To find out how I can help contact me here or give me a call on 07901 576846.